Fear Vs Creativity
Creating Courier this time round.. the feeling continues to escalate. It's the comforting and empowering feeling that you are on the right track. It is easy to loose faith in what you are doing; when none of it makes sense to anyone else. I seem to have a few treasure fans, who really remind me of the value of what I do. I don't think I could go one without this connection. I want to share this wonder. I want to share what's been shared with me, inside of me.
I'm making the most of what I do. I'd like to think that. It's hard to get the balance right. Should I be harder and push myself again pulling all nighters? But I can't abuse creativity. I can't let myself get sick. I'm going with the flow. I'm creating better things. It feels that way. I trust feeling more and more.
I still work a few days a week in a cafe to get by. It's my aim this year to generate more income from my comics. It's a lot of work when you are self published, and tough getting stuff done with less days free. I do my best. I'm not giving in. If society had it's way, I just about would have by now. Thank god I devote myself to creativity and not that.
I was working in the cafe today, feeling excited about my current issue of Courier. A man that was having a bad day told me "I Worry about You" . " You always look frail. You need a man"
I'm aware enough to know people say stuff like that simply because; they are having a bad day and want to feel better about themselves. I knew that, and laughed to myself. But something about it bugged me.
I've been going through a rough patch. We all do. We can't avoid these things. That's life.
So how is having a man going to make me look less frail? That exactly.
That old fashioned mentality that any woman was a worry who didn't have someone to own her or look after her (man or woman). In fact forget the gender shit. I grew up believing I needed help because of this sexist value of society. It gives power to male privilege.
I hate caring about this stuff because I'm not saying anyone is wrong. We are all victims of social ideology.
It's taken an entire lifetime to release only I can take care of myself, Only I can understand myself, Only I can help myself. Truly. People need people to survive; but why the one to depend? What are we afraid of facing? OUR SELVES
We are afraid of ourselves because we are afraid of creativity.
Relationships are meant to be nourishing, and yes supportive. But learning to help ourselves and love ourselves is the best thing we could do. I wonder if this is accepting our creativity?
I feel happy to grow with the people I love as companions and share that love in many forms.
And I thank you for being here with me on this journey,
Angie Spice
I'm making the most of what I do. I'd like to think that. It's hard to get the balance right. Should I be harder and push myself again pulling all nighters? But I can't abuse creativity. I can't let myself get sick. I'm going with the flow. I'm creating better things. It feels that way. I trust feeling more and more.
I still work a few days a week in a cafe to get by. It's my aim this year to generate more income from my comics. It's a lot of work when you are self published, and tough getting stuff done with less days free. I do my best. I'm not giving in. If society had it's way, I just about would have by now. Thank god I devote myself to creativity and not that.
I was working in the cafe today, feeling excited about my current issue of Courier. A man that was having a bad day told me "I Worry about You" . " You always look frail. You need a man"
I'm aware enough to know people say stuff like that simply because; they are having a bad day and want to feel better about themselves. I knew that, and laughed to myself. But something about it bugged me.
I've been going through a rough patch. We all do. We can't avoid these things. That's life.
So how is having a man going to make me look less frail? That exactly.
That old fashioned mentality that any woman was a worry who didn't have someone to own her or look after her (man or woman). In fact forget the gender shit. I grew up believing I needed help because of this sexist value of society. It gives power to male privilege.
I hate caring about this stuff because I'm not saying anyone is wrong. We are all victims of social ideology.
It's taken an entire lifetime to release only I can take care of myself, Only I can understand myself, Only I can help myself. Truly. People need people to survive; but why the one to depend? What are we afraid of facing? OUR SELVES
We are afraid of ourselves because we are afraid of creativity.
Relationships are meant to be nourishing, and yes supportive. But learning to help ourselves and love ourselves is the best thing we could do. I wonder if this is accepting our creativity?
I feel happy to grow with the people I love as companions and share that love in many forms.
And I thank you for being here with me on this journey,
Angie Spice
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